Tainted

I did my two mile run today. It was kind of a sucky run, I was struggling at the 1/2 mile mark, not a good sign! I finished strong but had a rough middle. I walked a lot of the middle. Oh well. I finished! I'll get it next time.

I did find that when I really started to think about something other than the pain in my legs I was able to push myself a lot further. Whodathunkit!

So I'm thinking...thinking about my first ever 5K run. The one I did in high school. Thinking about the fact that it was a totally tainted run. I didn't know it at the time. I ran it with a guy friend, he was older than me and in a position of power and respect in my life. We both had the aspiration to run the Gasperilla 5K in Tampa so we trained together. In retrospect, I probably should have seen huge warning signs above me about this guy and the relationship he had with me and my friends. I was young, naive so I took it at face value. But he's the reason that run is tainted for me. When I look at the picture of me crossing the finish line, him at my side, I don't see me in all my glory. I see him. A man that changed how I view the world and not for the better. A man who hurt one of my dear friends in the worst most unimaginable way and he did it from a position of power, of trust. I hate that. I hate what he did and I hate that he tainted one of my life's accomplishments. Someday I'll re-run that race and I'll have a picture of ME in all my glory sans one of the world's most despicable people.

I do look back on that day with a hint of laughter though. During our pre-race stretch he split his pants right down the middle and had to race with his jacket tied around his waist. Guess God does have a sense of humor. I think a lighting strike would have been more effective.